When you know the answer to a question, it shouldn’t be too difficult to put the answer into action and obtain results for the problem, correct? I wish it were that simple. I feel there is a mental block I have created for myself that has reverted my way of thinking, somewhat, to not being satisfied. To wanting more, to be greedy in a way, an unconventional way at that, but still a greediness that melts away my contentment with what I am doing about what I want in life.

Who do I think I am to know the answers to everything anyways?

I suppose I am in a period of convalescence? Of returning to full contentment and satisfaction with who I am mentally and how I am mentally approaching my life. However, my question is, how did I defer from my contented mindset in the first place? That is the one question I do not know the answer to.

I started to attack the answer before I asked the question; I tried to think backwards. In math class growing up, I was taught to approach certain problems backwards to help find the starting point of a problem- it is sort of a heuristic problem solving strategy that helps find a means to an end. However, recalling information from my studies in psychology, if my own understanding of my issue happens to be faulty, my attempts to resolve it will also be incorrect or flawed. So it is somewhat of a gamble to assess my own mind and my own problems, if in fact I have a problem after all!

“The human mind, once stretched by a new idea, such as, thinking backwards.., will never regain its original dimensions.” ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

At the current moment, I don’t even remember my original dilemma. Maybe I just needed to explore my brain and get to know the complex routing structure of my brain a little better. I needed to revisit the processes of my own cognitive functions and abilities to become content. Either that is what was causing my discontented feelings or the maze my brain just created and worked its way through caused me to forget any discontented feelings or problems that I had. I very well could have distracted myself from the problem and burrowed myself deeper and further away from actual solution. Hmmmm………

Isn’t that what we do with many problems we face each day? We distract ourselves, consciously or subconsciously, in order to escape the quandaries and conundrums that we in fact do not have the answers to so that we don’t become stuck endlessly searching for an answer that could very well not exist at all. It is the only way we can move forward. We are comfortable with answers and uncomfortable with not knowing- that is probably why horror movies are scary; we never know what is going to happen next. We fear the unknown.

Horror movies are my favorite genre, because I like to get stuck on the unknown. That is possibly also the reason why I am so stuck on my own vague problem. If the problem itself is vague, then the answer must be even more so. Maybe I imagined the whole scenario just to satisfy my innate craving for something unknown.

Question number two: I wonder if I will ever know? It’s an endless cycle.

On twitter the other day, I came across a post from @paule_steele that seems to sum everything up perfectly: