November 2014
Questions & Answers
When you know the answer to a question, it shouldn’t be too difficult to put the answer into action and obtain results for the problem, correct? I wish it were that simple. I feel there is a mental block I have created for myself that has reverted my way of thinking, somewhat, to not being satisfied. To wanting more, to be greedy in a way, an unconventional way at that, but still a greediness that melts away my contentment with what I am doing about what I want in life.
Who do I think I am to know the answers to everything anyways?
I suppose I am in a period of convalescence? Of returning to full contentment and satisfaction with who I am mentally and how I am mentally approaching my life. However, my question is, how did I defer from my contented mindset in the first place? That is the one question I do not know the answer to.
I started to attack the answer before I asked the question; I tried to think backwards. In math class growing up, I was taught to approach certain problems backwards to help find the starting point of a problem- it is sort of a heuristic problem solving strategy that helps find a means to an end. However, recalling information from my studies in psychology, if my own understanding of my issue happens to be faulty, my attempts to resolve it will also be incorrect or flawed. So it is somewhat of a gamble to assess my own mind and my own problems, if in fact I have a problem after all!
“The human mind, once stretched by a new idea, such as, thinking backwards.., will never regain its original dimensions.” ~Oliver Wendell Holmes
At the current moment, I don’t even remember my original dilemma. Maybe I just needed to explore my brain and get to know the complex routing structure of my brain a little better. I needed to revisit the processes of my own cognitive functions and abilities to become content. Either that is what was causing my discontented feelings or the maze my brain just created and worked its way through caused me to forget any discontented feelings or problems that I had. I very well could have distracted myself from the problem and burrowed myself deeper and further away from actual solution. Hmmmm………
Isn’t that what we do with many problems we face each day? We distract ourselves, consciously or subconsciously, in order to escape the quandaries and conundrums that we in fact do not have the answers to so that we don’t become stuck endlessly searching for an answer that could very well not exist at all. It is the only way we can move forward. We are comfortable with answers and uncomfortable with not knowing- that is probably why horror movies are scary; we never know what is going to happen next. We fear the unknown.
Horror movies are my favorite genre, because I like to get stuck on the unknown. That is possibly also the reason why I am so stuck on my own vague problem. If the problem itself is vague, then the answer must be even more so. Maybe I imagined the whole scenario just to satisfy my innate craving for something unknown.
Question number two: I wonder if I will ever know? It’s an endless cycle.
On twitter the other day, I came across a post from @paule_steele that seems to sum everything up perfectly:
November 13, 2014
‘Avalanche’- Behind The Scenes
My “Avalanche” music video finally came out last week! I am so excited with the way it turned out and could not wait to share it with everybody. Filming “Avalanche” was so much fun and I was really glad that we were able to do it in New York City because we didn’t have to travel anywhere. It made everything so much easier. Clifton Bell and Kareem Johnson directed and produced the video and the team that they assembled for the shoot was amazing. They made everything go smoothly and I am incredibly grateful for the hard work everyone put into this video to make it all happen.
We started in Soho on one of the very first cold mornings of the season and I definitely was not expecting it to be so cold! But then I got to wear this really awesome chunky sweater that was really cozy and made dealing with the elements more tolerable:) The whole first day was crazy because we were shooting on the street and I noticed that the people who were walking and driving by were taking photos and were trying to figure out exactly what it was we were doing. I walk past photo and video shoots all the time in the city and am so used to seeing shoots that I almost don’t even notice things like that anymore; but it was kind of cool (and weird) to be on the other side of that equation.
There are quite a few arguing scenes in the video and becoming upset with someone was hard for me to do! It’s not that I haven’t ever been upset with anyone, I am just generally not great at conveying anger towards anyone when I am upset, so it took a few tries for me to get the hang of arguing and fighting. Clifton was making fun of me during the bathroom scene because he kept saying, “Brielle, you’re angry and upset- look sad,” and a huge smile would come across my face! It was pretty funny, but Davi, who was the male lead, was really good and helped me figure out how to argue. By the second day of filming, we actually were able to make up this whole crazy argument based off of made-up scenarios and it sounded so real! Then I had to keep myself from smiling and laughing all over again because the argument was so good!
We finished up shooting in Dumbo (Brooklyn) at sunset where we walked along the boardwalk by the water and it was so beautiful. It made for a perfect ending to the two days of shooting:)
You can watch Avalanche here at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsYfXZo9_2w
Love,
Brielle